Finding a Man is Hard: but not worth it at this point

Around me so many people are in love, falling in love, getting married, or at least getting some. Three years ago my instincts were to jump into whatever opportunities came my way. I pushed aside any fears that he was too into me too fast, or that maybe it wasn't a perfect match. I never thought about where I stood, how I would operate in a relationship. Two years ago when my long-term relationship ended, on drastic terms of course, I still called, I still wanted to be with him so badly. Despite his negativity, his selfishness, his inability to actually be a good partner...Despite all of that I wanted to be with him. What followed was a summer of listening to my roommate and best friend goo and gah over their newfound love. I slumped in the corner wishing I could be anywhere but in the presence of love. I spent a few months with one guy, younger than me...we had a carefree and fun time, nothing serious. Actually we are now quite close friends.
So in the past two years I have gone from being heartbroken to bitter, lonely, and now I find myself at a place where I am feeling quite content in my own skin. I went on a date a couple of months ago in which I told a friend, "I would have rather been at home reading a book by myself..."
I have resolved that Seattle, my home of three years, is an impossible place for me to meet a potential partner. I have made great friends. I have met no one worthy of being my boyfriend. or girlfriend. I have become the token ethnic girl, which means that I don't fit in. I live on Capital Hill...I bike and I'm a barista at the best coffee shop...Hell, I know I dress the part...yet still the cool kids don't see me as their own. This city is unique, as my close friend said. Older men of color cat call because we have to stick together...it's like "You are one of us." Yet I don't want to be one of them, I don't want to be with anyone just because we look similar. I want to be with someone who wants to understand me. Last night my friend said, the qualities that we have that we think people don't like, are just intimidating to them. They won't take the time to learn, to appreciate a difference rather than to be controlled by assumptions.
My best friend from high school has always been the one person who understands me. We may go a few weeks without talking, or months without seeing each other. But we have a connection that I can only dream of finding. I wish he would move out to the West Coast, start a new kind of life with me, even just as friends. There is something magical about the West, even the Northwest. I love the nature, the peace, the clean air, the beautiful water surrounding.
I have finally grown to realize the importance of living for myself, loving yourself before anyone else can, as they say... it is true, however cliche it sounds.