oh man

so for the first time
i swear the first time
since i was younger and could actually let go
i felt tonight this wave of bliss
a calm like warm water
over my toes in the pacific
i opened my eyes and he smiled
back through my eyes
he questioned and closed
content with this randomness
this nap that became a hand-hold.
we couldn't take our eyes off
nor did we want to let go.
it wasn't planned
but we secretly wished it true.

*sigh* i am a cheeseball right now.
because i just had this intense connection with someone a bit younger. nearly 4 years. but a genuine comfort and connection. it doesn't just happen. he's so relaxed and humble, sweet and caring and a talented writer. he looks at me with these eyes that are warm and wanting to know more. i 've been so fickle lately, back and forth between guys, never ready to settle. he makes me feel so nice and content, all i could want right now.